Recently, an exemplar interviewer and podcaster Alex Atwood asked me to share my story of what it was like to manage through my recent divorce. I was hesitant at first to share so publicly, something that was so private. But I could see how the compost of this pain might be good medicine for those of you who have or may go through something similar.
The full podcast is below, with a brief set of cliff's notes that offer a set of immediate guidelines should you find yourself with such a sudden (or gradual) change as I experienced.
What happens when a high-performing entrepreneur walks away from it all? Peter Corbett, former CEO who sold his boutique agency to a global firm, opens up in this deep and personal conversation with Alex Atwood. In this candid and soulful episode, Peter shares the lessons he's learned through spiritual practice, emotional unraveling, and the second major exit of his life -- his marriage.
Cliff notes on what vows, principles, and practices help guide me through this experience of deep loss, grief, and ultimate renewal are below. They are covered in the podcast (also here on Apple) and will make more sense if you listen first.
Eight Core Principles
#1: Don't hurt yourself: My process began with a vow that I would not do anything to make matters worse. No booze, behaviors, or words that would hinder me, her, or those around me. No blaming, shaming, or disparaging included.
#2: Find a trustworthy source of truth: My heart broken, mind spinning, where could I turn? The body. I listened, and it guided me through.
#3: Embrace regimen: My morning practices of tea, meditation, contemplation, and gym/yoga/body practices were essential.
#4: Find THE mindset: The three items above allowed me to discover the mindset within the first week that felt not only true, but essential to moving forward: that this was FOR ME. It was not done to me. Anything I might have blamed on others was turned into a gift I could learn to receive. This includes owning all the prior behaviors and patterns that led me in and out of this marriage -- and to get incredibly clear about what not to bring into the next.
#5: Accelerate: By pulling the pain and grief closer, not pushing it away with productivity or avoidance -- I was able to move through so much, so much faster than I would have otherwise.
#6: Deepening Compassion: While not covered in the pod, my practice included deepening compassion not only for myself, but for my ex as well. Whenever my mind wants to cast aspersions and blame, I work with those afflictive thoughts and bring them into a place where I can sit in wanting a better life for her and myself -- knowing that we're better apart. I can't control my mind, but landing again and again in that what I want is only the best, happiest life, for us both has been deeply healing.
#7: Expression & Connection as Medicine: The pod doesn't cover this, but these six months have included retreats and workshops to aid my rapid rebuild. I dove into a zen retreats, the Hoffman Process, Tony Robbins' Date with Destiny, Burning Man and hosting my own connection experiences so I could heal and grow in community.
#8: Build a team: This is table stakes so it's the final point -- building a support team that included my family, friends, psychologist, and executive coach created a container that I didn't, and couldn't, have held alone. I'm deeply grateful to you all who've been a part of this journey with me this past year.
Podcast Chapter Guide
- 00:00 -- Intro: From Marketing CEO to Spiritual Explorer
- 02:08 -- Bringing Art Through the Roof: "I Thought I Made It"
- 05:00 -- Opulence & Awakening: When Success Sparks a Spiritual Journey
- 09:30 -- Letting Go of Fame & Gain: Zen, Hospice Work & Finding Presence
- 13:00 -- Relationship Struggles While Letting Go of Identity
- 16:43 -- Building Businesses for Love: Uncovering Deep Childhood Patterns
- 20:59 -- The Moment His Marriage Collapsed
- 22:20 -- "This Was Done For Me": Peter's Enlightened Divorce Mindset
- 27:36 -- From Trauma to Transformation: The Role of the "Soul Contract"
- 30:07 -- Grieving Through the Body: Ice Baths, Yoga, No Alcohol
- 36:34 -- Rebuilding Self-Worth Without Productivity
- 38:52 -- Dating After 12 Years: "I Don't Know What Love Is"
- 41:04 -- Advice on Grief & Loss: Bringing Pain Close Without Numbing
- 47:36 -- Atlas: Peter's New Venture on Holistic Well-Being
- 48:06 -- Final Words: "Are You Murdering Yourself For Someone Else?"